August 20, 2009

ISU: bertudung labuh dan menutup aurat.

Last couple of days, I was asked by a friend to read this blog, entry title 'Kenapa Anda Mahukan Gadis yg Seksi sbg Pasangan Anda' and she asked me give my comment about the entry coz she was really bengang and xpuas ati with that entry. The very first time I read that blog, to be honest, I was a bit confused with the author, coz I dunno what kind of person he is, and the level of education that he has. Generally speaking, I got the point he was trying to make, mainly asking women to close the aurat, but I just couldnt understand the way he gave the message in his blog. It shows me he is childish, and selfish. Sorry if I was wrong, it just from my point of view. Straight to the point, these are my comment about his entry:


i) 'Matlamat tidak menghalalkan cara'
Memanglah dah betul da matlamat dia nak smpaikan yg baik kpd perempuan2 muslimah utk menutup aurat, tetapi pendekatan yakni bahasa yg digunakan kurang bertepatan dgn isi yg ingin disampaikan. Adalah kurang sopan, jika ingin menyampaikan hal2 keagamaan dgn menggunakan bahasa2 yg agak kasar, bg saya terutamanya spt 'pantas merayap ke dada atau peha gadis itu', 'Apa kebangang nya sifat kau itu mangkuk?','aku suka melihat lurah dada yang ditunjukkan',etc. Jika kita pergi mendengar ceramah agama, atau apa2 aktiviti pengisian rohani, kalau kita dgr penceramah itu menggunakan bahasa2 sedemikian, apakah pendengar akan ikut apa yg disarankan atau itu hanya memburukkan imej mereka yg sebenarnya menyeru kpd sesuatu yg baik? Jika penulis merasakan mahu menjelaskan kpd tunang anda shj, mungkin tidak perlu utk dipertontonkan kpd blog anda,kerana ia bole dibaca oleh umum dan memburukkan imej mereka yg berdakwah.sila renungkan perkara ini.


ii) Isteri bukan hamba s*ks suami.
Saya agak keliru dgn pemahaman penulis mengenai tuntutan menutup aurat kpd kaum hawa. Point 2,3,5,7:

2. Tudung di pakai untuk cover muka dan DADA.Bukan untuk dilit dekat bahu.JATUHKAN TUDUNG ANDA dan TUTUP BUAH DADA ANDA sebab itu untuk aku dan baby kita nanti.
3. Segala pakaian yang menampakkan tubuh,ketat dan mampu merangsangkan nafsu hanyalah boleh dipakai kemudian dilihat oleh aku dan aku sahaja.
5. Segala perbuatan seksi,manja,geli,pervert,romantik dan segala-galanya yang berkaitan hanyalah boleh dilakukan di depan mata aku.
7. Kenapa nak malu pakai tudung labuh?Kenapa nak malu pakai baju kurung?Takde sebab seseorang perempuan itu perlu rasa malu bertudung.Ada sesetengah perempuan yang jumpa,asalannya tak pakai tudung adalah sebab PANAS.Tudung mesti setiap masa di kepala.Bila dah masuk rumah dan kunci pintu,tutup tingkap,nak bukak tudung bukak lah.Nak bukak semua pun lagi digalakkan.Nak sidai baju kat luar?Pakai tudung!

Apakah penulis sudah refleks diri, atau membaca semula entry penulis ini, yg pada saya, seolah2 isteri itu hanya dijadikan utk melayan nafsu suami? Mmg Islam ada menyatakan, si isteri perlu melayan kehendak suami, tetapi dlm Islam sendiri ada juga garis panduan bagaimana cara seorang SUAMI MELAYAN ISTERI. Isteri juga bukan hamba s*ks kpd suami. Isteri juga seorang manusia, mempunyai hak dan perasaan. Renungkan.


iii) Lelaki yg baik adalah utk perempuan yg baik, begitu juga sebaliknya.
Di awal blog, saya ada menyatakan, saya agak konfius dgn sikap penulis, sebab penulis mahu isteri yg baik, tutup segala, tapi bagaimana pula perihal kpd penulis itu sendiri? Kalau diri sendiri pun suka melihat perkara2 yg xelok, cth melihat aurat2 wanita scr sengaja, mcmana nak dapat isteri solehah? kalau takat tutup segala, tp perangai xmenyenangkan, tidak sempurna juga akhlak sbg isteri solehah,kan? Dlm Al-quran pon ada ckp, perempuan yg baik adalah utk lelaki yg baik, begitu juga sebaliknya. Pesanan saya kpd penulis, juga kpd lelaki2 di luar sana, jika mahu isteri yg solehah, refleks diri anda, adakah anda suami yg soleh?


iv) Bertudung labuh membawa imej suci.
Jika penulis mahu si isteri tutup segala di luar rumah, tetapi suka dan amat menggalakkan isteri bukak segala di dlm rumah, apakah persepsi masyarakat kpd wanita2 yg bertudung labuh? seolah2 wanita2 yg bertudung labuh ini lebih teruk sikapnya drp mereka yg bertudung biasa di luar, dan berpakaian sopan didlm rumah. Mmg la dlm rumah xde aurat sesama suami, tetapi dimana letaknya etika sbg seorang muslimah yg bertudung labuh jika tidak berpakaian atau berpakaian seksi dlm rumah? Bukankah itu suatu yg memalukan dan menjejaskan imej wanita bertudung labuh? Tepuk dada, tanya iman, jgn tanya nafsu.


v) Tidak perlu melabel org lain
saya tersenyum apabila penulis ada mengatakan tunangnya seorang wanita bertudung labuh tetapi pernah menyatakan org yg tidak menutup aurat sbg 'org xberapa reti pakai baju'. Sebagai muslimah yg bertudung labuh, perlu diingat, anda membawa imej baek wanita bertudung, semua yg anda lakukan dinilai oleh masyarakat, dr segi percakapan, pergaulan, dan sebagainya. Pada saya, tidak perlu lah melabel mereka yg tidak menutup aurat ni spt 'org yg xbrapa reti pakai baju', sungguh kasar bunyinya jika perkataan itu keluar drp mulut wanita muslimah yg bertudung labuh dan menutup aurat. Kalau ianya keluar drp mulut mereka yg berperangai kurang sopan, spt perempuan yg suka berjudi dan sebagainya, mungkin perkataan itu tidaklah kasar bunyinya. Tetapi, lain pula jika mereka yg bertudung labuh, masih byk lagi perkataan lain yg sesuai yg boleh digunakan yg menyampaikan maksud yg sama. Bukankah berlembut itu sunnah nabi?:)

p/s: Saya juga tidak perfect. ini cuma comment dan pendapat, no offense to anybody:)
p/ss: sorry, xprasan blog termasuk dlm BM plak last2.lol.

16 comments:

Mantot said...

wow,terharu aku sebab anda reply pasal apa yang aku tulis.It does shows that whenever a man becomes a critique of a woman's dressing way,some woman will become very defensive.Like you.

Im not saying you are wrong and I am right.It just that,the entry for the posting is actually directed TOWARDS MAN.

Yes,my target is actually man and guys.That's why the title of the post is a question directed towards man.

Sorry if my way of writing is "not on a specific level of intellect level" that you are hoping for,but all the sex jokes are just that,JOKES ...for men.But most of the reply comes from women,I do not understand why that happen,haha.
Maybe more woman are reading my blogs than guys.
Dear Ita,rite?

Imagine,if men,guys and husband actually do what I wrote there.Forcing their other half to become "enclosed" according to the Islamic needs.What will happen to the communit?Will the woman accept it faithfully if they are force to wear something they do not want to?

But it's the husband job to guide the wife.He CAN and HE MUST force his wife to cover up herself.That's his duty.

Im not judging,I am just asking "why men looks for hot chicks and be mad if other guys are ogling at her?"

Are the girls proud to show their assets?Are the guys proud to flaunt their girls?If those group ARE REALLY PROUD OF THAT,don't be mad when people are looking.You show something guys want to see,you WILL GET the attention.

and the phrase "ofis aku penuh dengan orang yang tak berapa reti pakai baju," this is totally true.You will agree if you know where I am working.

Im not saying my officemate is the one showing their bodies,Im just saying around my office,THERE'S A LOT OF HALF NAKED GIRLS AROUND.

True story.

zunitaseriously said...

trime kasih kpd saudara mantot atas respons yg mmg mantap!i like ur points.kan best if u put like that in ur blog?:)
btw,keep up with the good work!

farriz_2005 said...

Thing is, he did put it Clearly with His own jive well known way of writing in His blog, dear :). Anyone thts not familiar, I dont see in any way whatsoever for the author to care. For him to jot down his posts in the "kan best if u put like that in ur blog?:)" manner is absurd. Y? simple. It ain't d 'Cursingmalay' way :).

Those who got it, will def hv a chuckle with a zests of truth; such is the case with regular visitors.
Those who don't(as very evidently, d author of this blog), well that's too bad then :).

ps: In the context of the topic from both urs n mantot's post, for any muslim reader, shud b a no brainer, well known valid points.

zunitaseriously said...

to farriz_2005, like i said at the beginning of my post, i dont know what kind of person the writer is, and that's only my assumptions from my point of view based on what i've read. and i'm not bother reading his entry and comment on his, if i was not asked to. and yeah, bad to me too reading it coz to be honest i really don't like ppl using bad words in any case regardless of any reason. as for me, there's no reason for u to use bad words, there's a lot good words u can use, giving the same meaning, why wanna use such words? is it cool? i dunno. but then again, depends on how ppl think about it,right? :)

Fever Nova said...

nice comeback mantot, nice..

zunitaseriously said...

and to mantot again, if u intended to target to men, and all those things were jokes for men, what i wanna say is, u couldnt actually put it publicly coz u know everybody can read ur blog, including women. myb its true women read ur blog more than men, but one thing u should know, even if men are the most readers, the way u put ur sex jokes is very unprofessional for me, which i believe u are one of the intelligent and professional ppl,isnt it,mantot?

and one more thing, u cant test the sensitivity of women for that jokes, esp in public. lemme give u an analogy, im sure u have heard about dutch cartoonist drew Prophet Muhammad pbuh cartoon, right? he was intended just to draw a cartoon, not more than that,but why muslims in the whole world angry with it and agaisnt it? it just because muslims think it was an insult. the cartoonist cannot test muslims sensitivity with that kind of things. the same goes with ur jokes. u cannot expect women do not feel anything with ur jokes too.

whatever it is, i believe u know what u r doing,right?

:)

Mantot said...

oh dear ita,pls define professional for me.

in a society that actually shows wet Malay girls in a reality TV shows called "Gadis Melayu" I dont think my jokes is that bad.

maybe you couldnt accept my style of writing as you find it too vulgar,but the only way to show how men are thinking is only by those kind of writing.

Men are vulgar.Men are dirty.We are a slimy perverted bastard.It's true.I wrote what I think,I wrote what I felt,honestly.

Men are pervert in nature (mostly are,only some are not)
But some men controls their urge and needs,that's what differentiate a real good man and a serial rapist or a sex maniac.

If you are asking me to tone down my writing,I cant do that.

I dont think that your cartoon reference is relevant to our discussion here.Im not testing the sensitivities of woman here.

I am just saying "Hey woman,this is how I think!Watch out!"

It's like a small and simple gesture just to make sure that woman knows how to deal with a man.

zunitaseriously said...

thx for the reply,mantot.

u hv good points, and im not asking to tone down the way u write,but then again, i hope if u wanna write something good,religious, remember,
'matlamat tidak menghalalkan cara'

:)

Ladynoe™ said...

Aku agak tidak bersetuju jugak, bila kamu tidak bersetuju dengan penulisan si mantot sebab aku rasa ada relevannya. Hanya kerana dia terlalu outspoken dan aku rasa itu takde hal sangat lah. Kita ambil point yang baik sahaja.

Tapi, aku PUJI author blog ni, ZUNITA yang berani menyuarakan ketidak puas hati-an secara terang terangan. Bukan sebagai seorang anonymous yang bacul dan pengecut.

Susah rasanya nak cari komentator macam kamu zaman sekarang ni.

Badriah Burhan said...

Firstly, thanks Ita for bringing up this issue. Yes, we talked about it over and over again. About how that piece of scarf we wear on our head becomes the 'indicator' (not sure if indicator is the right word for it) of how people perceive our level of righteousness.

I honestly don't agree with how people generally feel. Like, if you're all covered up, you're treated like an angel. But if you do not cover up, then you're the devil-condemned for all eternity. Never judge a book by its cover. That's what they all say.

It is mentioned in the Quran that women are supposed to cover up and behave appropriately. But look around you. How many of those women really do behave appropriately and cover themselves up? Honestly, not many. Some behave but are not covering themselves up. Some misbehave but they cover themselves up. Some do cover themselves up and behave (congratulations) and some, unfortunately, do not cover up and behaved inappropriately.

These things take time. For the women who do not cover up but behave, give them time. And help them by guiding them, not condemning them.

Ita babe, thank you. You know that this issue is close to my heart. Thank you for voicing out your opinion. Love you. :)

PS: To the author of the other blog, I applaud your intention of bringing that issue but seriously, it's too vulgar. And oh, this issue is not a joke. Bear that in mind. And your description of those girls not covering up is unnecessary in my point of view. Using words like 'xreti pakai baju' or 'half naked girls' is just too much, bro. I know your intention of 'cursing malay' people is good, (it's critical even, I love it) but honestly, the way you're doing it is just wrong. And I can't help but think. Guys usually want the best of the girls as their wives. But do you think you're good enough to deserve such good girls? 'Perempuan baik hanya untuk lelaki baik'. Bear that in mind.

::smaku:: said...

ita, here's what i personally think:

about ko nye 1st point, i dont think it's wrong for si mantot tu to write macam tu. kalau nak dgr ayat2 baik might as well org pegi beli buku2 agama je kan. sometimes different style perlu digunakan utk diff ppl,so as long as message sampai..dont u think so?
and about your 4th point, skali lagi aku rs mantot tak salah. it's not against the religion kan, for a wife to wear sexy clothes utk husband die. even naked sekalipon. cuma the issue here is how sure r u yg org lain takkan nampak kan..tu je kot.
but i cudnt agree more with ur 5th point. mmg well known la manusia ni suka jadi judgmental and streotype kan org. that is the 1 thing mmg takkan boleh diubah sampai bile2. mentality orang.

anyway, this is just my personal opinion. no hard feelings k.

Mantot said...

haha,thanks2.

i hope that you dont misunderstood what I was trying too say.

Yes,good woman will get a good man as his husband and vice versa.That is written in our holy kitab.

Let me make this clear..

I have never declared that I deserved such good girl.I am just saying IF I GOT A WOMAN TO BE MY WIFE,she must obey the aurat.

if God given rules cannot be followed by her,the least that a husband should do is to make sure that she do.

this is not about judging whether a girls is good or not.

I am saying about the responsibilities of a HUSBAND.

And,lastly..I have never said that

"tak pakai tudung"= "tak reti pakai baju"

zunitaseriously said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zunitaseriously said...

last but not least, sorry to anyone yg offended, it's just my opinions. no hard feeling ok?

btw, happy eid mubarak:)

zunitaseriously said...

just wanna share a very good link about healthy marriage; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSEsUZIT6d8

hope it can benefit us all:)

tmc said...

Bismillah. In the Name of Allah,

عن عائشة رضي الله عنها أن النبي صلى
الله عليه وسلم قال : "إن الله رفيق يحب الرفق، ويعتى على الرفق ما لا يعتى على العنف وما لا يعتى على ما سواه"
Maksudnya:
Daripada Aisyah RA bahawasanya Rasulullah SAW bersabda: "Sesunggahnya Allah Taala itu lemah lembut dan suka kepada lemah lembut. Dan Ia memberi hasil kerana lemah lembut itu, apa yang tidak Ia berikan atas tindakan yang kasar atau tindakan lainnya".

in my opinion, mantot's underlying message is indeed something we all can benefit insyaAllah..

nonetheless, dalam kelembutan ada hikmahnya tersendiri. dengan hikmah, it may be that Allah Taala gives hidayah to nisa' as well, despite the initial initiative for the entry to be directed to men.. wouldnt that be even better?

(22:24) and they (those Allah admits into Jannah) are guided to goodly speech..

aurat tetap aurat dan perlu dijaga (24:31)
and lelaki tetap perlu menundukkan pandangan (24:30)

in the end, if we together take a step back and question ourselves, why do we remind others? its none other untuk meraih redha Allah..biarlah on the the Day we stand in front of Him, alone with our amal, yaAllah, may He accept this reminder and make it an amal in which with it Allah,by His Rahmah, admits us into His Jannah..

hence, let us together perfect of deeds..strive towards perfection..in amal and in speech..

a verse i think is interesting for us to together ponder-when Allah asked Musa AS to remind Firaun to return to Allah..
who is Firaun? -a tyrant in the land..
who is Firaun?-one who arrogantly said, "ana rabbukumul a'ala" (i am your Rabb Most high! - in sura an-naziat)
who is Firaun?-one who (14:6) afflicted with horrible torment, and were slaughering sons and letting women live..

but yet, Allah said to Musa AS,
(20:44)"and speak to him MILDLY, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear"

Allah knows best.
(8:2) verily, the mu'min are those when Allah is mentioned feel a fear in their hearts and when His verses are recited to them, they increase their faith..and their trust is in their Rabb=)