September 01, 2012

Safiyyah & Hospital : Part I

That was 2nd time in less than a month Safiyyah was warded. Ibu mana yang xsedih tgk anak sendiri sakit, kan?

It was actually happened when she got her blood diarrhea again. I mean, repeated blood diarrhea. It started on the first or 2nd day of raya (which I don't really remember). But since that was raya, and I still have the previous medicine from the doc, so I didn't take her to the doc. However, her diarrhea was getting worse and there was no sign of positive improvement in her condition.

So on the 3rd day of raya, on my way back to my mum-in-law's house, we went to see the doc at senawang specialist (the place where the 1st time she was warded). Unfortunately, no paedritician was present (cz it was raya). Safiyyah was attended by a (general?) doc. After checking by the doc, he suggested Safiyyah to be warded cz it is quite dangerous for 6mo baby to get repeated blood diarrhea. But we refused. We wanted to try to gv her the medications first and hoping there will be a sign of improvement. So we went back with all the medications..

**to be continued..**

August 28, 2012


In life, there is a word spelled 'courtesy'. Sometimes rules are all bullish*t, and u have to use your humanity in making decision. Someone without courtesy is heartless and not too much if I say rude.

What are u thinking when saying 'it's all our job? We do this bcz this is our job? '

Don't u ever think if he got his own problem? Don't u dare to ask? Do u think all people in this world don't have problem? Could u ask them first why and how?

You are just selfish as my first impression told me about u. Remember, what turns around, come around.

August 26, 2012

Ibu mana yang tak sayang anak?

Hi all,

Hisashiburi. It's been quite sometime since I last update this blog. As time flies, many things happened.

It's 2nd time my beautiful, cute and adorable daughter, Safiyyah warded in the hospital. That means, its more than twice she had been injected. What 6 months old baby knows about pain?

Whenever Safiyyah gets injected, I feel so guilty. Deeply inside.
Whenever Safiyyah cry while been injected, I feel so sad. Deeply inside.
Whenever she's in pain, I feel the pain too. Deeply inside.

It makes me think whether I'm a good mother..or not..? Am I really doing my best to be one?

People see me okay from the outside. But inside out, only He knows. How much I cried, how many times I fell, but I tried to stay strong. I have to be strong in front of my daughter.. if I'm not, how can she'll be strong too?

Safiyyah.. please forgive ummi for not being able to take the best care for u.. :'(

July 24, 2012

It comes from experience..

Sejak berkecimpung dlm dunia bisnes online ni, ramai jgk la yg tanya tips utk berbisnes. Well, to be honest, I dont have any particular tips to share with. Personally, I think it comes with experience. Not something that you can get in one shot.

Naturactor Collections (online biz that I'm currently doing) is NOT my first business. Aku dah didedahkan dengan dunia business ni since kecik lagi. Parents aku dulu pun berniaga jugak. My late dad dulu peniaga pasar malam. Sejak aku lahir (beberapa bulan lepas lahir), mak aku dah bawak aku ikut ayah aku berniaga pasar malam. Bukan pasar malam je, pasar pagi, pasar tani.. semua pasar lah ayah aku berniaga. Dari situ sedar xsedar sebenarnya aku develop my interest in business..

Aku ikut ayah aku berniaga sampai aku masuk asrama, which is umur 13 tahun. Selama 13 tahun tu jugak lah aku ikut ayah aku berniaga, and start umur aku 6tahun, aku dah diajar utk mencongak laju utk kira total yg dibeli oleh customer. Aku dah start tolong ayah aku jual2 and berniaga since 6tahun. Yes, 6 years old.

Oh yes, maybe some of you might curious what kind of business my late dad was doing - jual ayam goreng + burger :) Selama 13 tahun aku ikut ayah aku berniaga, sebenarnya banyak selok belok perniagaan yang aku belajar.. Aku igt lagi ada this one time ni, ada sorang customer ni nk beli kentang goreng, time tu umur aku 7tahun. Aku pun telah mengambil kentang goreng dgn BARE hands, and memasukkan kentang tu kedalam plastik. Disebabkan terdapat sisa2 garam terlekat kt tgn aku, dengan tanpa segan silu dan selambenya aku telah menjilat jari jemari aku yg comel tu depan customer tersebut. agak eyeeeewww kan? ahahah. Well, that wasn't the thought of 7yo kid. And customer tu dah sah2 la cm.. eeeee.. haha, terus dia blah dari situ. Aku cam xpaham ape yg berlaku time tu, agak terpinga2 jgk aku. Haha. Tapi skg, aku dah xterpinga2 sgt la, sbb kalau aku berada kt tempat customer tu pun, myb aku buat benda yg sama. Hihi

Masa primary school pun aku banyak jgk jual2 benda. Myb sbb aku mmg minat biz kot.. Aku igt lg masa darjah 2-3 cmtu, aku mtk mak aku gorengkan keropok ikan.. nnt mlm2 masukkan dalam plastik, pastu bakar ngn lilin (nk gamkan plastik tu). Pastu esok pagi, jual 20sen kt kawan2. mmg laku la.. boleh la dapat dlm Rm5-10 sehari.. jadi duit poket :)

Then kt depan rumah aku dulu ada pokok jambu air. Mmg maaanis sangat jambu tu. Aku dengan rajinnya pergi panjat jambu tu, and petik buah2 yg masak and manis.. Pastu aku cucuk kt lidi, then aku jual 50sen secucuk. Aku bawak laa naik basikal keliling kampung. Time tu aku darjah 2 kot xsilap.

Ada jugak aku jual kacang goreng kt skolah. Masak sendiri tuuu.. goreng kacang tu, pastu letak garam.. then bungkus dgn surat khabar, pastu jual 20sen kt skolah.. Mmg xcukup la.. everyday pun cmtu :)

Itulah, bila pikir2 balik, mmg aku minat sgt kt biz ni.. Mmg dari kecik aku suka jual2. Myb sbb dah diberi pendedahan awal kt arwah ayah kot. So interest tu develop sendiri :) Pernah jgk aku terfikir utk focus kt biz je.. tp at the same time aku sayang ngn kerja aku skg. Aku mmg berazam nk kembangkan lagi biz, nk ada kedai and pekerja sendiri, but at the same time, aku xnk quit kerja aku skg (working as engineer in TM). Kalau boleh aku nk excel in both fields. Menjadi businesswoman and engineer yg berjaya (?). Engineer yg ada IR. at the same time, I have boutiques and my own workers. Have my own customers.

Well, let's see where will I be heading then.. :)

psss.. wish me luck people!

July 08, 2012

Lazy update..

Hi people..

It has been a veeeeeeeeeeeery long time since my last post. Sorry for the silence.. Has been quite busy lately. With my own growing business, Alhamdulillah and my cutie pie baby girl, Safiyyah, life getting more wonderful day by day :') Thank you Allah for everything.

Anyway, sbnrnya xtau nk update ape sangat.. Cuma just cerita2 kosong about my life skg (as if u guys want to know, right? :P)

Last few days pergi Jepun.. and honestly rasa mcm xnk balik Malaysia je. Why? Coz I LOVE Japan. The first moment I step into Japan (last 4 years) I already fallen in love with Japan. But if tanya exactly ape yg best sgt pasal Jepun ni, honestly, I have NO answer. I just feel comfortable with people around there, and I like the culture, languange, the foods ( I loveeeeeeeeeeee sushi!), and everything about Japan (except the immigration -u know why if u ever deal with them). Bila pergi Jepun je, rasa nk stay lama2 kat sana. Nak kerja kat sana. Tapi apa kan daya... more things need to be done here :(

Kalau kt Jepun, most places yg popular dah pernah pg dah. around Tokyo, Akiba ke, Harajuku, Shinjuku, Ueno, Asakusa, etc etc.. Sbb dulu masa first time datang dah travel sampai Hiroshima. Hehe. I've been to Nagoya, Osaka, Hiroshima, Mount Fuji (sangat cantikkkkk!), etc. But my wish since I was pregnant utk travel ke Northen Japan still xtercapai. Teringin nk pg Sapporo, Hokkaido, and kawasan atas2 tu.

Well, tgk la mcmana nnt, kalau ada rezeki inshaAllah akan sampai ke sana (lagi?). This time nk bawak budak tecik Safiyyah pulak! Hihi :D

Nway, what's ur wish?

June 06, 2012

Rumah Aman Sunday Market

Salam people,

We will set up a booth at Rumah Aman Sunday Market (Shah Alam) on 17th June, this coming Sunday. It is actually a charity market, where all the fees (to set up the booth) will be donated to Rumah Aman (an orphanage house).

What's interesting & special offer by NC:
-  Get away of postage fee!
-  We do have the tester for OCTARD Cover Foundation and NATURACTOR Cover Face. So you can test which code is suitable for your skin with the tester before purchase.
-  For the first time ever, we will introduce & selling set hantaran (from MEIKO collection - make up, skin care, etc). We have hantaran set as low as RM150 and above!
- You can donate and do the charity as well!!

Rumah Aman (Shah Alam) - in front of SMKSSAA
Jalan Bunga Cempaka 2/11
Seksyen 2, 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor

Date: 17th June 2012 (Sunday)
Time: 0900 am - 0500pm

A bit background info about this Flea Market
Rumah Aman is a non profit welfare home located in Seksyen 2, Shah Alam (in front of SMKSSAAS) that houses boys from under privilege backgrounds, age 4 to 12 years old. The boys age 4 to 9 are currently obsessed with Gogo the dinosaur and all types of ikan. We wish to have a steady fund to bring them out to visit places like the Aquaria, Dinosaur exhibition at Pusat Sains Negara and any animal and cultural exhibitions. Their education outside the classroom is our main priority. Join us in our learning adventure as we organise our very first Sunday Flea Market!

Sambil membeli kita menderma kan? InshaAllah at the end of the day, everyone is happy! :):)

So come and join us this coming Sunday at Rumah Aman Sunday Market! <3

April 19, 2012


Dah lama xupdate blog. Memang banyak benda nk ditulis, nk diblog kan, cumanya kadang2 masa yg terluang tu ada prioriti lain.. mmm..

So in the few coming updates, im gonna update about;
-My days in Japan (nk tulis my 'trip' to japan xjugak.. sbb it's not really a trip tho, coz bukan nye holiday sakan kt sana.. just visiting my beloved hubs ;))
-My latest update (current life)
-My thought about things
-My review for book (not plural, huh? -so bz lately :( ) that I read recently
-My lil angle (she's about 3mo now!! How fast time flies, kannn?? and of course she gets more adorable day by day! hiks)

That's it for now. Gotta go now.


March 21, 2012

February 28, 2012

Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Final Part :) )

Read the episode before:
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part I)
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part II) 
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part III) 
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part IV)
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part V)

Malam tu aku tido atas kerusi sebab aku xboleh nk baring. Bila baring je rasa perit sgt2 kt bahagian rahim tu. Lepas aku tidokan Safiyyah, aku letak dia atas katil then aku tido kt kerusi mengadap Safiyyah. Aku letak bantal kt belakang tempat sandar kerusi tu sbb pinggang and blakang aku berdenyut2 sakitnya. xtau la ni effect bius ke ape. Plus pinggang aku mmg sakit pun since mengandung 4 bulan haritu lagi.. Tersengguk2 aku tdo kt kerusi tu, sampai nk terjatuh one time tu. Kol brape pagi tah, aku terasa sejuk sgt so aku amek selimut, selimut kan badan aku yg bersandar ke kerusi. Aku ade la try nk baring (sbb penat pinggang bersandar lama2 lagipun br pas bersalin operate), aku tegakkan katil tu (katil tu boleh laras) then try nk tdo.. but still xselesa and sakit. so aku bgn balik, tdo kt kerusi tu.. :( and sampai laa pagi.. aku pun xde la tdo lena pun, kejap2 terjaga, kejap2 terjaga. yelah tdo kt kerusi and sejuk plak mlm tu.. and mmg kena expect la kalau lepas bersalin xboleh nk tdo lena bagai kan.. mmm..

Aku tdo kt kerusi tu sampai laa pagi, and aku sedar pun bila ade sorang nurse ni tegur, "ai.. ngntuk sgt ke?" boleh pulak dia ckp cmtu kan.. bukan setakat ngntuk sgt, penat, sakit, semua ada cik nurse oii.. pastu aku bgn and cm bese lah, g kencing  lagi ;p oh masa mlm aku tdo tu, aku sedaya upaya control my mind utk xpk nk terkencing. haha. sbb kalau aku pk nk kencing je, mesti aku rasa nk terkencing. pastu sakit2 tu kena jalan g toilet, then bila dah sampai toilet, xboleh nk kencing. so aku xnk pk pasal kencing. menjadi jgk la.. but kekadang, bila pk utk xnk pk, lagi la pulak otak ni ngade2 nk pk. haha

Esoknye tu, aku dah xsabar nk kluar wad, sbb dah xtahan tinggal kt situ lagi. bukan apa, i need someone yg boleh tolong aku utk jaga Safiyyah time2 aku xbrapa nk kuat and sakit lagi ni.. lain la kalau aku sihat walafiat, aku xkisah tinggal kt hosp lama2, jaga Safiyyah sorang2.. Esok paginye tu, nurse tu suruh aku mandi. Gile ape aku nk g mandi? Jalan pun semput2 lagi, nk berdiri lama2 pun xlarat dia suruh aku g mandi? mmg haruslah aku xmandi pagi tu. hihi.

Haritu aku buat2 sihat and cool, sbb aku nk kluar wad cpt2. kang kalau aku tunjuk aku sakit kang, xkluar wad aku haritu. tak lama lepas tu, ade doktor ni dtg.. dia nk bukak selotip kt tempat bedah aku tu (bayangkan diorang selotip jeeee luka tuuuuu) haha. I guess it's new technology kot, xpayah nk jahit2 dah luka tu.. pakai selotip ajeee. tp kt dalam rahim tu, diorang jahit la kot kan. Masa doktor tu bukak selotip tu.. mashaAllah.. sakitnyeee bila dia tarik selotip tu. yelah, ada sikit2 luka yg melekat kt selotip tu dia main sentappppp aje. haish~ lepas dia bukak selotip tu, dia spray luka tu.. so that kalis air..

tak lama lepas tu, dtg pulak doktor lain cek2 lagi. tah ape yg diceknye, xtau la.. cm bese, aku buat2 sihat and cool. xsabar dowh nk kluar.. seksa jiwa raga aku dok sepital lama2. after diorang cek2 tu, doktor kata aku dah boleh kluar lepas lunch. mmg tersenyum sampai ke telinga laaa aku. xsempat2 aku nk tunggu lunch, terus aku kol mak aku amek kt sepital skg jgk! hihi

Kebetulan akk aku cuti haritu, so dia ada kt umah.. then dia amek aku terus kt sepital.. masa aku nk kluar wad tu, tetibe ade sorang nurse ni ckp, "senang nk jaga Zunita ni.. paling aktif dlm wad.. len kali boleh la bersalin lagi". fuhhh~ cik nurse, len kali kalau aku bersalin lagi pun, aku xkan masuk lagi dah sepital ni.. huu~ trauma dah aku. xpe la kluar duit lebih sikit, asalkan jagaan baik semua..


Walau macamana pun, tujuan aku share pengalaman ni bukan nk burukkan mana2 pihak. Jangan salah sangka ya.. Tujuan aku nk share experience, sbb aku percaya, setiap org, even ko dah selain 7-8 kali pun, pengalaman bersalin tu mesti lain2. so why not we share, right? And most importantly, Catatan utk Safiyyah the series ni aku buat khas utk Safiyyah, so that bila dia dah besar nnt, myb (age 18?) aku nk bg link entry ni mtk dia baca..

And aku nk ucapkan jutaan, billionan terima kasih kepada semua yg jaga aku, bg semangat, yg sms, yg call, yg doakan aku masa aku nk bersalin haritu.. without korang semua, myb aku xsekuat ini.. Jugak kepada nurse2 yg kt sepital tu, tho ada masa aku mmg xpuas hati, tp aku nk ucapkan thanks jgk sbb cne pun u did look after me, even sikit. thanks :)

Bila aku pk2 balik.. bila aku baca balik entry yg aku tulis ni, aku mcm xpercaya was it me who gone through all these? But then I realized one thing;

"There is no greater comfort than knowing that Allah knows and understands how we feel, the struggles, the heartaches, the constrictions, the troubles, the obstacles we are facing. He is aware, He sees and hears everything. All prayers, thoughts and requests are heard, but He provides what's best for us, and His timing his perfect. Not ours."

So I believe, everything happens for a reason. And the reason is the best. Quit complaining and be strong! You won't believe how strong you are, just don't loose faith in Him :)


February 22, 2012

Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part V)

Read the series before:
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part I)
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part II) 
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part III) 
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part V)

Malam tu sbb aku still ada kesan2 bius tu lagi, so aku mmg tidur je sepanjang malam. Aku mmg xsedar sgt what was happening around me that night. Yang aku sedar, sesekali aku terjaga, nurse tu dok dukung Safiyyah. Probably she cried la kot kan. hehe.

Rupenye pagi tu, nurse tu ckp Safiyyah xnk tidur dalam tempat baby tu. ape tah name dia. haha. Bila nurse tu letak je Saifyyah kt tempat baby tu, Safiyyah menangis. Tapi bila nurse tu letak je kt sebelah aku, Safiyyah diam. hehe. beberapa kali jgk la mcmtu. Alolo.. Safiyyah anak ummi ni nk tidur ke sebelah ummi je ye.. hehe :")

Well, awal2 pagi tu, dalam kol 530pagi, ada sorang nurse ni dah kejutkan aku suruh bangun. Aku suke sgt kt nurse yg sorang ni, dia mmg baaaaaaaaik sgt dan lembut je org nye. Aku lupe plak nama dia. Aku rasa dia lah nurse yg paling baik yang jaga aku masa aku kt hospital haritu. Dia cek2, dia pelik kenapa ada tumpahan air kencing kt lantai. Rupenye tiub kencing yg salur kat aku tu dah longgar.. cm nk tercabut pun ada. pastu nurse tu terus cabutkan tiub saluran kencing tu. fuuuhhh~ ngilu rasanya. sbb tiub tu kan disambung terus ke tempat saluran kencing. masa dia tarik tu, mmg ngilu la.. :S

Pastu aku tgk nurse tu bawak beg kencing tu, ada darah skali kt situ. rupenye masa dia tarik tiub kencing tu, myb terberdarah sikit. tsk tsk. lagi lama aku kt hosp, makin kering laa darah aku =.="
Then nurse tu suruh aku bgn g kencing kt toilet. Masa tu ubat bius tu ala2 dah nk habis. Masa aku nk bgn and try berjalan.. Subahanallah sakitnyaaaaaaa~ yelah, xsampai sehari aku lepas operate kot? luka pun basah lagi. mmg peeeedih sgt2 kt dalam rahim tu. probably the cut still new and xheal sgt lg kan.. Masa aku jalan tu, mmg terbongkok2 and slow sgt2. yelah, pedih kan. tp nurse tu paksa jgk aku jalan, sbb dia ckp kena paksa jalan, baru boleh cpt sembuh. Bila aku dgr 'boleh cpt sembuh', aku gagahkan jgk kaki aku melangkah, setapak demi setapak, sambil menanggung kesakitan tu..

Sampai dalam toilet, nurse tu suruh aku kencing, tapi... aku xdpt nk kencing :(((( mmg menderita rasanya. sbbnye saluran tiub yg dia bukak td menyebabkan aku xdpt nk rasa apa dah. aku rasa nk terkencing, tp xboleh nk kencing. and satu lagi, most probbly sbb aku xboleh nk teran sgt bila nk kencing tu.. yelah, baru lepas operate, sakit lagi kt bahagian tu.. so aku rasa nk nangis je.. yelah, ko rasa nk terkencing, tp ko xboleh nk kencing.. tambah plak ngn sakit lepas operate + ubat bius dah habis. rasakan laaaahhhhh mcmana ~

Then pagi tu bermula lah episod menahan kesakitan yang teramat. Sepanjang hari, aku asyik rasa nk terkencing je. Tapi yang frust nya, kencing mcm xlawas. Rasa xpuas kencing, nk kencing lagi, tp xboleh. Rasa sakit. And tiap 5 minit, aku g toilet. Bayangkan, dengan aku yg xbrapa boleh nk jalan lg (sakit luka operate), tp aku paksa jgk jalan sbb nk g kencing (every 5 minutes!), but then bila sampai toilet, sekali lg ko frust sbb xdpt nk kencing. It continues on and on.. And I admit, aku mmg menangis dalam toilet.. sakit sgt. frust sangat. sampai ada satu masa... aku terfikir, aku dah xnk mengandung dah :((

Rutin dalam hospital, mcm biasalah, diorang dok cek2 aku lagi. tiap bape jam skali tah, amek blood pressure. pastu doktor dtg cek2 luka operate aku tu. pastu tekan2 perut aku sbb nk tgk rahim dah start kecut ke belum. Aku tgk org2 kt katil depan dan sebelah depan tu.. lek je tido. Aku pelik, diorang xsakit ke? diorang xrasa nk terkencing ke? apsal asyik2 aku g toilet. kejap2 aku lagi yg g toilet. sampaikan nurse2 kt situ dah cop aku ni patient yg paling aktif dalam wad. haha. And aku plak, xboleh lansung nk baring lagikan nk tdo. yelah, bila baring je, aku rasa perit and pedih sgt kt rahim tu. especially kt bhg dalam rahim. so nk xnk, aku mmg duduk je sepanjang masa.. :(

Safiyyah pulak mmg kuat minum susu. kejap2 kang, dia dah meragam nk minum susu. Mane lagi aku nk g kencing, mane lagi Safiyyah nk minum susu, mane lagi aku nk tahan sakit.. so nk xnk, aku harungi jgk la.. sabar.. And alhamdulillah jgk la Allah kurniakan aku ada susu yg banyak. So xde masalah sgt la Safiyyah yg kuat minum susu. And hikmahnya, eventho Safiyyah darah O, dia xkene jaundis (kuning) pun.. Alhamdulillah :)

Tapi malam tu, aku xtau kenapa Safiyyah meragam sepanjang malam. Kejap2 dia menangis, kejap2 dia menangis. And malam tu mmg aku sorang2 kena jaga Safiyyah and diri sendiri.. :( Bayangkan, aku yang asyik nk ke toilet, and safiyyah pulak nk susu. Sampai satu masa ni, aku nk terkencing sgt2, tp Safiyyah dah menangis2 minum susu. xkan aku nk kencing dalam seluar kn? So aku letak Safiyyah kt katil then aku g toilet. nk cpt pun xboleh, sbb aku jalan pun cm siput. slow sgt2 sbb sakit lg kan. Byk kali cmtu.Lepas tu datang sorang nurse ni marah aku, sbb letak Safiyyah tepi katil sgt. Aku diam je. Masa tu fikiran aku bercelaru. Aku xdpt nk fikir rasional dah. before tu, sorang nurse pun aku xnampak batang hidung yg dtg tolong aku. boleh tak kalau sorang je nurse, aku xmtk byk, tolong aku jagakn Safiyyah ms aku g toilet? itu je. mmg aku akui salah aku letak Safiyyah tepi katil sgt, but ms tu dgn sakitnye, dgn xdpt tdonye, dgn penatnye.. aku mmg xdpt nk pk betul dah.. so aku dah xhairan sgt dah if ada org yg meroyan lps bersalin kalau xkuat semangat, xigt Allah..

Ada satu masa ni, sbb Safiyyah asyik menangis je, datang sorang nurse.. aku igt dia nk tlg, rupenye dia dtg, just utk ckp "shhhhhhh.." suruh Safiyyah diam. Patut ke? Aku stress sgt2 masa tu.. Aku dah la xboleh tdo, Safiyyah meragam, perut sakit, asyik rasa nk terkencing. Diam2 aku menangis sorang2 mlm tu.. menangis kt katil sambil peluk Safiyyah..

**to be continued..**

February 17, 2012

Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part IV)

Read the series before:
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part I)
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part II) 
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part III)


Sorry to keep u guys waiting for the nx part.. actually agk bz 2-3 hari ni and if ada masa pun, xde mood nk menulis pulak.. nways, let's continue the series..

Rasa sakit yg teramat sgt tu mmg tiba2. Mmg xdpt nk digambarkan sakitnye mcmana.. bila badan kita ni ditoreh2, disentap2.. Subahanallah.. mmg masa tu aku xigt apa dah, aku just nk cpt habis je.. :(( Masa tu mmg menangis2 aku kt bilik bedah tu.. doktor tu tanye kenapa aku nangis? Aku ckp sakit.. sakit sgt2. Doktor tu mcm pelik, mcmana boleh sakit kan, padahal nk bg bius. Then dia tanye, aku senak ke sakit? Aku ckp mmg sakit.. meleleh2 air mata aku menangis2. Pastu doktor tu bagi aku 2nd dos bius (aku rasa rendah sikit sukatan from before), but then still xjalan. Pastu doktor tu bagi bius dalam bentuk gas (gas bius tu disalurkan kt bantuan pernafasan). Xsilap aku diorang bg morfin dlm bentuk gas. xsure betul ke tak yg aku dengar tu. hehe

Apparently, all those bius mmg xjalan. aku still terasa sakit gile. Lagi2 part doktor nk keluarkan kepala baby (sbb kepala baby kt atas - sonsang) so mmg susah sikit nk keluarkan. Aku still igt lagi ada 3 tgn kot dok tekan and tolak2 kepala baby ke bawah. Yelah, xkan doktor nk tarik kepala baby kan? xpepasal baby aku xde kepala kang~ Masa 3 org doktor dok tolak2 kepala baby ke bawah tu.. MashaAllah.. sakitnya.. mmg Allah je yang tau. Dah la bius cm xjalan, pstu doktor tu plak dok sentap2, tolak2, tekan2 perut aku.. mmg menjejeh2 air mata aku menangis. tp xde la meraung kan. hehe. Doktor tu dah cuak dah sbb aku sakit sangat2. then doktor tu ckp, sikit je lagi.. sabar..

Tiba2 aku dgr suara baby menangis.. Subahanallah.. Only Allah knows how I feel that time. Aku mmg menangis, tp kali ni menangis sebab lain. Baby yang menangis tu adalah anak yang aku kandung selama 38 weeks. Susah payah aku selama 38 minggu.. akhirnya Allah anugerahkan aku sesuatu yg xternilai. Suara baby tu betul2 buat aku terharu.. Rasa hilang serta merta sakit yang aku rasa b4 tu.. :)

Then, doktor tu tunjuk baby kt aku.. dia tanye, ni laki ke ppuan, sambil tunjuk jantina baby. Hehe. then aku ckp, ppuan :) Pastu doktor terus suruh aku breastfeed baby sambil diorang jahit2 balik belah tu. Masa tu mmg aku xrasa apa dah. Mmg mcm dah hilang sakit tu.. alhamdulillah baby yg aku lahirkan sihat, sempurna semua :)

After dah selesai jahit semua, doktor tu amek baby utk ukur, timbang, etc, and aku plak dihantar kt satu tempat ni. aku xsure diorang nk cek ape. sbb masa tu aku cm da lalok. cm drug addict plak rasa. yelah, td kan aku dah 'ambil' morfin. hehe. aku rasa masa tu baru 'jalan' kot ubat bius tu. ceh. hampes krempes tol. dah hbis baru nk 'jalan'~

After a while, diorang hantar aku ke wad balik.. dgn baby skali.. Tapi masa tu aku mmg lalok sgt2. ngaaaaaaantuk sgt2. Aku mmg tidur je sepanjang masa. Aku xsedar apa yg berlaku lepas tu.. Sampai lah ada beberapa doktor dtg kejut aku tanye2 benda. sibuk je doktor ni kacau tdo lena aku. haha. beberapa kali jgk la doktor tu dtg nyibuk ;p masa tu mmg aku xsedar ape.. sampai lah aku terjaga, then mak mertua aku tanye, aku ada rasa kencing tak? aku ckp tak.. pastu mak mertua aku ckp, mmg mcmtu.. aku pelik kenapa kan.. rupenye aku dah dipasang tiub saluran kencing tu. laaaaahhh, dah penuh rupenye bag kencing tu. hahaha. aku je syok sendiri igt xkencing2 :P

Hari lepas operate tu mmg best la. sbb xde rasa sakit. mainly sbb ubat bius tu ada lagi. so aku mmg lek je tdo. hehe. mlm tu, mak mertua aku igt nk stay overnight jaga baby, yelah sbb aku kan baru operate, cne nye aku nk BF baby kalau baby merengek nk susu ke, or meragam malam2 ke.. tp beselah, hosp gomen, xdibagi nye mak mertua aku tinggal skali. so mmg aku sorang kena jaga diri sendiri ngn baby. kejam? ye, mmg kejam.

So, nntkan episod seterusnye where aku mmg rasa nk meroyan sbb stress dgn baby yg dok menangis xhenti2 and dgn condition aku yg tgh sakit lepas operate..~

**to be continued..**

February 16, 2012

Officially missing you.. :((

All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It won't go away
And today I'm officially missing you

I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you

Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially

All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That I'm officially missing you

Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially

Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you

It's official
You know that I'm missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I'm officially missing you

The video clip:

I miss you so dear husband :((

February 11, 2012

Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part III)

Read the series before:
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part I)
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part II) 

Salam readers,

So.. today I'll continue the series :)

Masa aku tgh dok kusyuk observe tu, diorang dah sibuk2 mengerumuni aku. Sorang pegang tangan kanan, sorang pegang tangan kiri, sorang dok pegang bahagian perut, sorang pegang kaki kanan, sorang pegang kaki kiri, sorng dok ambik blood pressure. mcm2 la yg diorang buat. tetibe aku rasa aku ni mcm rusa yg baru kena buru dgn sekumpulan harimau. haha. aku lemah longlai kena kerumun dgn sekumpulan predators. lol.

Sorang yg dok ambik blood pressure aku tu, perhatikan kt screen digital (yg aku describe kt entry before) bacaan blood pressure, and make sure blood pressure aku stable all the time masa operation tu (kot?). Pastu sorang ni plak lg dok nk masukkan air kt dalam badan aku. Masuk2, tgk pressure xstable. kejap laju, kejap pelahan airnye turun. Pastu dia dok betul2kan tiub tu, then same jgk, xberubah. pastu diorang decide utk cucuk jarum lg satu kt tgn kiri aku (cucuk lagiiii??). Tapi masa dia cucuk tu, aku dah xrasa ape dah, sbb semua anggota badan aku kena 'kerjakan' masa tu. dah xtau mane satu yg sakit, mane satu yg xsakit. haha. Apparently, tgn kiri aku yg dicucuk tu pun, same jgk bacaan nye, xstable. then aku dah cuak dah, jgn la dia nk cucuk kt tempat lain plak. habis biru2 dah lengan aku ni kena cucuk :( fortunately, diorang decide utk masukkan je air kt tiub tu.. sbb aku dgr2 diorang ckp vein aku halus, so tu kot sbbnye xstable tekanan tu. yeke? tahla.

Dah siap2 tu, diorang suruh aku duduk sambil peluk bantal. diorang nk cucuk bius. ni yang aku paling cuak skali. diorang suruh aku duduk diam2. aku peluk bantal kuat2. sambil tawakkal. aku dah xigt ape dah time tu.. aku just nk cpt habis je :S

Then doc tu dok plak la terkial2 cari saraf aku kt tulang belakang ni.. aku rasa doc houseman kot.. sbb aku dgr ada doc lg satu dok instruct dia je.. tah la, aku rase la.. hehe. lame gak la doktor tu dok picit2 tulang belakang aku. haha. ade la dalam 3-4 minit.. dia nk carik saraf tu.. pastu dia ckp, dia akan bg 2 injections, 1 ubat tahan sakit, lagi satu ubat bius. aku pun.. iye kan je la. abes tu, aku nkckp ape? haha

Masa dia inject ubat tahan sakit kt saraf kt tulang belakang aku tu.. fuhhh~ menyengat beb! terasa ubat tu masuk berjalan2 kt dalam saraf aku.. wuuu.. then masa dia inject ubat bius tu, serius aku xrasa apa2. haha. aku cm.. eh? dah sudah? diorang suruh aku baring balik. aku cm.. okayy.. hehe

Lepas tu, mula la diorang dok bz 'kerjakan' aku balik. sorang dok pasang ape benda tah, mcm wayar yg lekat2 kt dada tu.. letak kt dada aku.. pastu sorang lg letak alat bantu pernafasan. aku pun xpasti diorang letak oksigen ke ape.. then doktor tu nk test ubat bius tu.. pastu doktor tu dok cucuk2 dada aku dgn something like jarum. aku rasa tajam. dia ckp dia akan cucuk kt kaki aku, kalau aku rasa tajam jgk, bgtau. and apparently, masa dia cucuk kaki aku, aku still rasa tajam. camano tu?

Then doktor tu xpuas hati, dia suruh aku angkat kaki, aku pun angkat la.. masa tu mmg aku dah rasa kebas2, tp cm xcukup kebas utk aku.. boleh je aku angkat. aku rasa kalau doktor tu suruh sepak, mmg kena penyepak laa sape2 kat kaki aku time aku. haha. kidding. xbaik tau sepak2 org. lol. dua2 kaki aku boleh angkat. tinggi plak tu. pastu doktor tu cm.. xpe, myb kejap lg ubat bius tu jalan sepenuhnye. eeiii.. boleh plak cmtu kannn.. pastu diorang teruskan je procedure tuuu. padahal ubat bius tu xberapa berkesan kt aku kot?

Oh masa tu, diorang dah siap2 nk bedah. diorang letak something like tirai putih depan aku (so that aku xnampak kot time diorang bedah2 tu). oh ye, aku dibius separuh badan. diorang guna morfin sbg bius. and before tu diorang ada tanye2 berat and tinggi aku. so i guess diorang nk kire sukatan bius utk aku kot. pastu aku cm rasa diorang ada letak mcm bubble kt atas dada aku, pastu ada angin disalurkan. aku xpastu utk ape benda tu.. pastu kt sebelah aku, ada aliran angin jgk (aku xsure tu betul2 angin or some sort of medication). And yg peliknye, aku diberi mcm bantuan pernafasan masa tu.. or.. bukan oksigen, tp benda lain, xtau la kan. aku pelik sbbnye aku igt kalau bius separuh badan, patutnye xdiberi bantuan pernafasan. tahla. aku xtau sgt medic2 ni. hehe. aku ikut logic je.

Masa tu ada 3 org doktor bedah. sorang doktor pakar, Dr. Hayati nama dia. 2 org lagi doktor biasa rsanya.. alhamdulillah tiga2 doktor yg bedah aku tu doktor ppuan muslim :)

Diorang pun pasang kain ijau berlapis2 jgk aku rasa kt atas perut aku ni.. pastu doktor start toreh perut aku ngn pisau. terasa dia toreh, tp xsakit. lapisan demi lapisan aku rasa perut aku ditoreh.. masa tu aku xrasa ape sgt, sampai la tiba2 aku rasa saaaaakit gile! Aku xsure kenapa, myb ubat bius tu xcukup dos ke ape ke kan.. mmg terasa doktor tu sentap2.. mengalir air mata aku, mmg aku menangis dalam bilik bedah tu.. :(((((( aku xtahan sakit sgt2, aku rasa ya Allah azabnye.. waaa~

** to be continued..**

February 10, 2012

Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part II)

Read the series before:
Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part I)

Salam people,

So harini nak sambung series Catatan untuk Safiyyah. Ekeke. Bajet novelis gittewww. ahaha.

Okay, before aku terlupa part yg best jgk utk dishare, mlm tu, after masukkan tiub air, aku xde la dpt tdo sgt.. sbb xselesa and cm sakit sikit tgn tu.. but then ada satu masa tu, aku tertido dalam sejam kot.. bila aku sedar je, tgk2 darah aku dah mengalir masuk ke dalam tiub tu, byk jgk la.. separuh drp tiub tu dah masuk darah.. and katil aku basah dgn tompokan darah (ada darah leak dekat pangkal tiub). Rupenye air tu dah habis dan cik nurse tu pulak terlupe nk cek and ganti yg baru.. sabar je la kan? wuuu~

Then, aku g inform nurse tu yg darah aku dah masuk kt tiub.. selamber je nurse tu ckp, ok xpe.. boleh g mandi dulu, kita akan letak stopper. aku cm.. xpe???? xpe jeeee dia ckppp?? at least say sorry ke ape ke kan.. nasib baik time tu aku tgh sakit, kalau x, mmg hangin satu badan jgk la.. haih~

Lepas tu nurse tu cabut tiub and letak stopper, dia suruh aku g mandi and siap2 pakai pakaian bedah.. Lepas mandi, solat and mengaji semua, aku dah xtau nk buat apa.. dok lepak je la kan. perut mmg lapar xpayah nk ckp la.. sbbnye aku start pose kol 8 mlm tu.. isk isk.

pastu mcm biasa lah, dtg nurse tu dok check blood pressure and heart beat baby. aku pun xpaham, dah nk operate pun still nk check. and biasalah ada beberapa org doktor dok jenguk2 aku.. takut aku lari kot? haha. xde lah.. diorang check buku mende tah yg diorang tulis..

Katil depan aku operate before aku, dia pembedahan yg ke 3, aku yg ke 4. kol 1040pagi tu, org depan katil aku dah masuk bilik bedah dah. aku pulak dah seram sejuk. tp muka buat2 cool. ekeke. padahal Allah je yg tau cne aku rasa..

Then kol 12tghari tu, mak mertua aku sampai.. xlame pastu mak aku plak sampai. nasib baik operation aku start delay sikit.. kalau x, xsempat nk jumpe mak aku.. before tu sempat la msg hubby kt jepun, mtk ampun maaf.. kot2 ada yg dia terasa ke, kecik ati ke, ape2 silap aku.. mintak ampun hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki.. mtk dia doakan semua dipermudahkan.. :)

Dalam kol 1230tghari tu, aku dah dipanggil utk siap2. ada 3 jenis injection yg nurse tu masukkan kt dalam tiub aku. Yang aku perasan dia ada ckp, 1 utk antibiotik, lg 2 tu aku xsure utk ape. pedih woo bila ubat tu masuk kt vein :"( Then, nurse tu suruh aku minum 1 ubat ni.. dia dah ckp da ubat ni mmg segala mcm rasa ada.. pahit, manis, masam, semua ade. dia suruh aku telan je sampai habis. Aku pun.. tutup hidung telan sampai habis. Diorang dah siap2 angkat aku kt stroller tu, tetibe aku rasa sakit perut yg teeeeeerrrrrrramat sgt2. Rasa mcm gastrik yg teruk. aku xtau apsal, mmg pedih, sakit, mcm2 la.. myb sbb perut aku kosong, then nurse tu suruh makan ubat tu ke, or side effect ubat tu ke.. xtau la kan.. aku mmg menanggung sakit yg teramat sgt :(((((

Masa org tu nk tolak stroller aku, aku nampak mak and mak mertua aku da start nangis dah. alahai~ jangan la nangis maks, nnt aku pun start skali kang, kot xjadi nk buat operation~ huuu~

Then org tu tolak ke bilik bedah.. sakit perut aku tu makin menjadi2 plak. mmg aku dok urut perut dgn harapan ada la kurang sikit sakitnya. and pinggang aku pun mula berdenyut2 sakit. sbnrnye aku mmg dah sakit pinggang since aku pregnant 4 bulan lg.. tp makin lame makin sakit la kan, and aku mmg xboleh tdo melentang. and masa kt stroller tu plak, org tu suruh aku baring melentang, tp serious mmg sakit gile pinggang. pastu aku sengetkan badan sikit, nk bagi selesa. haha. org tu dok bebel suruh aku betulkan posisi. dia xtau ke yg aku ni sakit pinggang? hish~

Masa dah masuk bilik bedah tu, aku kena tunggu kt tepi pintu (dalam bilik bedah tu ada beberapa bilik kecil utk operation). masa tu sakit perut ngn pinggang dah tahap max. aku mmg berpusing2 mcm cacing kepanasan kt stroller tu. ade nurse tu tanye, kenapa cm berpusing2? aku ckp la aku sakit perut ngn sakit pinggang. dia ckp sakit perut tu normal, side effect ubat yg aku telan tadi. mmg akan sakit perut. tp yg sakit pinggang tu dia suruh aku sabar.. :((((

Org yg tolak stroller aku td dok nk buat lawak ngn aku. aku plak mmg xde mood kotttt nk layan lawak dia. haha. aduhai~ dah la aku tgh sakit, ko buat lawak sape suruh, kan dah ko kene gelak sendiri. LOL. Tapi org tu baik la.. dia suruh aku selimut tebal2, sbb kt dalam bilik operation tu dia ckp sejuk gile2. nnt aku menggigil2. dia dok selimutkan aku 2-3lapis..

Pastu sampai turn aku, aku ditolak masuk dalam bilik operation tu. Sempat la jgk aku dok jeling2. ramai rupenye dlm bilik tu. ade la dalam 7-8 org. And bilik tu pun canggih xberagak. semua digital, seb baik xtouch screen. haha. kalau bedah aku pun melalui touch screen je, mmg xtau la nk ckp ape kan~ haha..

Main lamp dia mmg terrrbaik la. lawa plak tu. haha. aku perasan ade 3 main lamp (yg kt tgh2 tu), setiap satu lampu tu ada dlm 12-15 mentol kt dalam tu. pastu ada 3 bijik. mmg terbaik la. kt depan lampu tu ada digital screen, tp aku xsure touch screen ke ape. Then kt dinding ade jgk LED screen, yg aku perasan ada tunjuk blood pressure aku, and some other stuffs. aku xterfikir la plak govt hosp secanggih ni. *sorry for the underestimation earlier, feel bad about it now :(* Tapi mmg seeeeeeejuk sgt2 dlm bilik tu.. aku rasa temperature dlm 10-12 degree kot? tahla. aku rasa la..

Pastu aku dah nampak dah org tu dok keluarkan pisau2 dan stuffs drp beg.. tp time tu aku xrasa ape sgt, aku kusyuk observe kot. hehe..

**to be continued..**

February 09, 2012

Catatan untuk Safiyyah (Part I)

Hello people!

Lama rasanya xupdate blog.. yeke? haha. well, in this entry, aku nk share my experience masa deliver Safiyyah haritu :") Sbb teringat kata2 doktor yg selalu check aku masa pregnant dulu;
"Every human is unique, so does the pregnancy"

So I guess tiap org ada experience yg berbeza.. Just want to wrote mine here, to share and utk Safiyyah baca bila dia dah besar nnt, inshaAllah :)

Anyhoo, sape yg xtau who is Safiyyah, she's my little angel, born 1st Feb 2012 :)


As instructed by the doctor, aku pun pergi daftar ke Hospital Tunku Ampuan Najihah (Hosp Kuala Pilah) on 31st Jan 2012. Aku pergi pagi jgk la.. around 10am cmtu kot. Then, g daftar kt wad bersalin. Diorang check blood pressure, berat, and diorang ada ambil graf heart beat baby. Masa tu kena baring kt katil dekat 30min and nurse tu pasang benda ape tah kt perut. Yang aku perasan, tiap kali ade heart beat tu, ada graf kluar kt mesin. haha. yes, I'm noob. Hello, aku bukan buat medic kot? haha. acceptable la if aku xtau tu benda apa. Anyway, lepas 30mins tu, ada sorang Indian doctor (ppuan) datang and ambik graf tu.

Pastu aku kena scan lagi utk make sure yg baby still breech. And yes, the baby was breech. So doctor tu confirmkan lah yg aku kena ceaser esoknye.. She asked me few questions regarding background and some other stuffs. After tu, around 30-40 minutes jgk la, aku dipanggil utk siap2 masuk wad..

Aku masuk WAD 9, Katil no.6. Ececeh, igt lagi tuu. hehe. Dalam bilik tu ada 6 katil, tp 3 je berpenghuni (termasuk katil aku). Sebelah aku xde org, depan aku ada 2 katil berpenghuni. Sorang tu baru lepas operate semalam, yg lagi sorang tu sama cm aku, akan oprate esoknye (dia operate sbb anaknye melintang). Masa masuk tu, biasalah, kena tukar uniform pesakit. Kaler pink baju tu. isk isk. Aku kalau boleh xnk tukar, sbb baju nye besaaaaaaaaaarrr gabak. boleh muat lg 5 org aku kt dalam baju tu. eheh, xde lah, exaggerate je tu :P tp mmg besar laa baju tu.. Cne pun, terpaksa laa pakai, nnt kang kena halau plak ngn makcik guard, sbb dia igt aku pelawat ;p

Masa 1st day aku kt wad tu, nothing much.. Aku dah start rasa bosan dah. Nothing there. No internet. No magazine. No TV. No Radio. Nothing. Yang ada buku cite Twilight yg aku bawak. Tu pun dah 10x aku khatam buku tu ;p So, with no other choice, aku terpaksa laa ulang balik buku twilight tu.. as a result, tiap satu muka surat yg aku baca, aku mesti tertdo. haha. Oh mak aku dah balik da time tu.. dia balik after aku masuk wad. Kire aku mmg lone ranger lah. And honestly, aku mmg xreti nk 'buat' kawan. I kan pemalu. aww~ :")

Then, sorang demi sorang doktor datang kejut aku. *Aku rasa doktor2 houseman semuanya, hehe* Memula sorang doktor lelaki melayu ni, ade ke dia boleh ckp "laa.. igtkan baca buku, rupenye tdo". Sabar je la aku, perli lettewww. Tapi aku buat muke cool je. hihi. Then dia amek darah aku nk check aku jenis darah ape kot? Tah la, aku pun xtau, sbb rasanya dah ada rekod kt buku merah tu yg aku ni darah O. saje lah tu nk inject aku. hish :P

Tak lama lepas tu datang plak sorang doktor china ni, lelaki jgk, aku rasa dia drp department bius kot.. dia dok explain kt aku what will happen esok, ape fungsi bius tu, and side effect dia. lepas dia tu, ada sorang doktor ppuan melayu plak dtg, aku rasa dia drp department bedah2 ni. hehe.. dia explain kt aku pasal bedah2 ni la.. side effect and stuffs.

Lepas tu, datang la plak nurse dok check blood pressure aku ngn heart beat baby. Tiap 3 jam kot dia dtg cek. mmg bosan betul dok sepital ni. mcm2 nk dicek. huu~

Masa tu perut aku mmg dah lapar gile, igtkan org hosp tu bagi la lunch kt aku, rupenye tak. hish. xtau la diorang lupe ke or sbb aku baru masuk wad tu, so dia xprepare utk aku. lapar gile la. then call mak aku yg dah sampai umah tu, mtk dia bawakkan food kalau dtg petang nnt. sian aku lapar.. sob sob :(( pastu my mum mtk ada kawan dia yg kerja kt hosp tu jgk belikan food. so yay! dapat makan.. hehe. and ptg tu mak dtg bawak jagung kukus. slurp2, feveret tu, sedaaaap! ngn air ribena :D

So the whole day ptg tu mcm tu je lah life aku kt sepital, baca buku, tertido, kene kejut ngn doktor, cek tekanan darah ngn heart beat baby, tdo balik, baca buku, dan begitulah seterusnya..

Episod xbest start mlm tu.. isk isk. Aku dah di informed yg aku kena puasa start 12tgh mlm sampai operate esok nye. standard la kan, nk kena operate kena lah puasa. So, aku akan dimasukkan air dlm badan mlm tu.. Tapi yg xbestnye, doktor yg masukkan jarum tu (utk salurkan ke tiub) sengal. Dah la dia dok terkial2 cari urat aku (katenye urat aku halus sgt), pastu cucuk2 xdpt2 masuk. Dia igt tangan aku ni tgn patung ke xde sensitivity terhadap sakit? uuu~ lepas beberapa kali dia cucuk tu, baru lah dpt masukkan. Tapi.. sakitnye ya Allah.. mmg Tuhan je yg tau. xtau nape, after dia masukkan jarum tu, mmg sakit sgt2 tgn tu.. berdenyut2. sampai mengalir je air mata aku tahan sakit. Then msg hubby kt Jepun, ckp tgn sakit sgt2.. Hubby called, dia ckp kenapa.. I told him the whole story.. pastu dia igtkan mmg mcm tu rasanya, so dia ckp sabar je lah.. Anggap benda ni ujian lah kan, kena mujahadah sikit. Then aku pun dalam mengalir air mata tu, tahan je la sakit tu.. :"((

Masa kol 12tghmlm tu, nurse tu dtg nk masukkan air. before tu last aku makan kol 8 mlm. then aku dah xmakan dah. kirenye aku unofficially dah start pose kol 8mlm tu lah. Bila nurse tu try masukkan air, air tu xturun2. puas nurse tu betul2kan tiub tu.. sekali tgk, tgn aku dah membengkak. rupenye jarum yg doktor sengal tu masukkan, xbetul masuk dlm vein aku. air tu xmasuk dalam vein, sbb tu membengkak. patutla sakit gile masa jarum tu ada kt tgn aku. seb baik nurse tu jenis yg baik gile, dia cabutkan jarum yg doktor tu masukkan and she called another doc utk masukkan jarum lain. Bila aku dgr doktor akan masukkan jarum lg, aku dah trauma dah ngn sakit yg aku tanggung td. isk isk. tp nk buat mcmana, mmg dah procedure cmtu kan.. :(

Tunggu punya tunggu, kol 3-4pagi baru doktor lain tu dtg utk masukkan jarum. Rupenye dia ada emergency time kol 12mlm tu.. Doktor tu masukkan sakit jgk la, tp xsesakit yg before.. Then, aku dah xdpt tdo. tdo kejap2 je, dlm sejam, pastu aku terjaga.. Kol 5 pagi, aku dah bgn, mandi, and siap2 pakai pakaian utk masuk bilik bedah, sbb nurse tu dah suruh aku siap2..

And I was told yg operation aku akan start kol 12tghari esoknye..

**To be continued..**

January 30, 2012

Pregnancy updates (part VII)

Hello people :)

I guess most of you know yang aku akan menjalani cesarean this Wednesday.

To be honest, mcm2 benda kt fikiran aku ni.. Takut, cuak, nervous, gementar, happy, excited, semua ada. But yang paling byk skali nervous la kot. Well, it's more because of aku xpernah kena operate, xkisah la atas sebab ape pun. So this is the first time lah aku akan di'operate'.. so.. I don't have any idea what will happen, I dont know what to expect.. I mean, mmg la ade tanye experience org lain yg pernah dioperate, tp it wont be the same bila u experience it urself, right?

Tapi bila aku fikir2 balik... mmg everything happens for a reason. Despite of all those things, now I realized what He had planned for me. I realized, I'm not alone in facing all these. I believe, the whole world are with me. Hubby, families, friends, even my customers, all praying for me and baby. Thank you so much everyone :")

Maybe if I don't face all these, I do not know that everyone is concern about me, about us. Truly, He's the Great Planner. Thank you Allah :) This is the other side of it. The other side of the test that He has given to me. So, always think positive about Him, about what He had planned for us..

"..Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; and perhaps you will be grateful."

“..Allah menghendaki kemudahan bagimu, dan tidak menghendaki kesukaran bagimu..”

Though my husband is thousands miles away, and right now he is very busy with his kenkyu (FYP), but he's still 'near' me. His support, his advices, his doas, always with me. Families and friends also are very2 supportive. If I dont have them, probably I cant be this calm. I mean, probably I'm worst than the condition that I am in now. Honestly, all the warm wishes have effect on me. It gives me peacefulness and calmness. Thank you everyone :")

Not to forget, to all my customers, though we never meet, but truly I feel blessed having you guys. It's not bounded to only seller-customers relationship, but it's more than that. Every wish, every doa that you guys had given to me.. I really2 appreciate each and every words you put in it. Nothing more I could ask from Him for giving me such strong support. Thank you Allah, thank you everyone :)

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” 
-Marilyn Monroe

ps: Just realized my writing went to English at the end of the entry =.="

January 27, 2012

Pregnancy updates (part VI)

So.. the doc has made the decision..

I will undergo cesarean this Wednesday (1st Feb).

ps: I really can't think of anything right now. Just doakan yg terbaik for me and the baby. Thanks :)

January 24, 2012

Tips pengurusan rumah tangga

Hello people!

Semenjak dua menjak ni, aku selalu terfikir, mcmana nk jadi 'superwoman' bila aku dah kerja nnt. I mean, aku nk jadi isteri yang menjalankan segala tanggungjawab isteri sesempurna yg mungkin, tanggungjawab sbg ibu sebaik mungkin, tanggungjawab anak sehabis baik dan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang pekerja syarikat sededikasi yang mungkin. Aku selalu terfikir, mampu kah aku?

Pagi2 nk masak sarapan utk suami dan anak tersayang, kalau boleh, nk sediakan bekal lunch skali utk suami tersayang, then hantar anak ke taska, pergi kerja.. Balik kerja mulakan tugas utk memasak dinner, uruskan rumah, kain baju, kemas rumah, uruskan anak, dan sebagainya. Nampak saaaangat padat. Bilakah masa utk aku berehat? Can I be a superwoman?

Bila aku search2 kt internet, aku jumpe beberapa tips yg aku rasa sangat berguna dan praktikal utk wanita/ibu/isteri bekerjaya mcm aku nnt (inshaAllah). Antaranya:

1) Bagi memudahkan kerja-kerja memasak, kisar bahan-bahan asas seperti bawang, halia dan cili untuk kegunaan seminggu. Bahan-bahan mentah lain seperti ikan, ayam dan daging boleh di’pack’ berasingan mengikut kekerapan menggunakannya dalam seminggu. Sayur-sayuran juga boleh siap-siap dipotong dan disimpan.

2) Rancang menu untuk seminggu dan beli bahan-bahan mengikut menu yang telah dirancang. Ini dapat mengelakkan pembaziran wang dan masa membeli juga dapat diminimakan sebaiknya.

3) Sebelum bertolak ke tempat kerja, alihkan bahan-bahan mentah yang akan digunakan pada hari itu dari tempat dingin beku ( freezer ) ke bahagian bawah peti sejuk. Ia memudahkan wanita yang bekerja, bila balik sahaja ke rumah, tugas memasak boleh terus diselesaikan.

4) Penyusunan jadual kerja mengikut prioriti juga boleh dilakukan bagi memastikan keberkesanan tugas. Mana yang dahulu, didahulukan, yang kemudian, dikemudiankan. Setelah itu, tandakan tugas-tugas yang telah berjaya dilaksanakan.

5) Jika boleh, membasuh baju, mengangkat dan melipat dilakukan pada hari yang sama. Bertangguh menyebabkan kain-kain baju akan ‘menggunung’ tingginya. Untuk mengurangkan beban menggosok, kedai-kedai dobi ada menyediakan perkhidmatan menggosok baju.

6) Memiliki gajet yang baik juga membantu kelancaran tugas rumahtangga. Laburkan sedikit wang untuk membeli pembersih hampagas, pengisar, mesin basuh dan lain-lain peralatan yang berkualiti.

7) Pembahagian tugas antara suami isteri dan anak-anak juga membantu meringankan bebanan dan isteri/ibu dapat fokus kepada tugasnya yang telah dipersetujui bersama.

8) Perbanyakkan doa dan memohon bantuan-NYA bagi menghadirkan kekuatan, kesabaran dan keikhlasan dalam melakukan rutin rumahtangga yang mencabar ini.

Hope tips ni dpt diaplikasi dan sedikit sebanyak dpt membantu aku (dan wanita lain yg bekerjaya jgk) utk jd superwoman :D


January 19, 2012

Pregnancy updates (part V)

Hello everyone!

Harini nk update lg pasal pregnancy.. Sbb tadi baru lepas buat routine check up kt klinik bidan sebelah umah ni ha.. Bosan? xpe, nx time aku update pasal benda lain plak eh. Hehe. *eh, aku punye pasal laaa.. ni blog aku :P* Hoho >.<

Anyway, result pasal check up td:
Pregnancy: 36 weeks 3 days
Baby position: Breech
Blood pressure: OK
Urine: OK
Blood platlet (hemoglobin?): OK
Weight: Gain 1.7kg in 2 weeks (which is NOT ok..)
Baby's heart beat: OK

So.. here we go. tsk tsk. Ada 2 benda yg xberapa nk ok hrni nye check up - baby's still breech and I gain more weight than it should be.. 

So ada 2 benda yg aku kena buat - based on the problem yg aku ada:

1. Breech
Aku kena jumpe pakar O&G next week kt Hosp Pilah. So doc tu akan check la.. I hv no idea ape yg doc tu akan check but I guess dia akan bg advise lah what to do next. Oh well, please.. aku xnk masuk wad. bukan ape, bosaaaaannn gile kottt? Lain laa kalau hubby ade utk teman kan kt wad.. sob sob :((

2. Gaining 1.7kg in 2 weeks time
Sepatutnya, aku dibenarkan gain 1kg je dlm masa 2 weeks. Tapi berat aku ni beriya2 plak naik sampai 1.7kg. kiranya aku dah terlebih 700g.. Aku pun pelik, apsal berat aku boleh naik dgn jayanya? sbb nk kata aku makan byk, xde la pun.. makan nasi 2x sehari je, itupun sikit.. xde makan beriya. Haih.

Sebabkan berat aku dah mencanak2 naik, so jumaat ni aku kena minum air gula. eeeeeeeeee.. menci tawww! ahaha. Kepada yg xtau ape itu air gula, boleh rujuk pakar O&G anda. Hoho. Air gula tu air glucose la.. aku request kt bidan tu, aku nk glucose yg perisa anggur yg jual kt kedai2 tu. ahaha. mmg bertuah la kan kalau bidan tu bagi. tp same je kottt?? tah la. aku bukan doktorrr mahupun bidan.

What I have to do is, aku kena puasa mlm khamis tu, start kol 10mlm xleh makan/minum pape.. saaaaampai pagi aku g klinik tu balik. Let say aku g kol 8pg jumaat tu, then sampai2 je, aku kena ambik darah dulu (asyik ambik darah aku je kejenye, lame2 kering jgk darah aku ni), then aku akan disuruh minum air gula tu 1 mug (I know, xsedap - ade org muntah ok minum air tu). After 2 hours, sample darah aku akan diambik lagi.. Then, baru aku dibenarkan bukak pose. adoi, mcm2 betul.

So, pesan aku, jgn laa kurang ajor kt parents ye kawan2, esp kat mak anda.. hehe.. mmg byk dugaan mengandung ni sbnrnya..And aku sendiri selalu kejang time malam2. sakit woo.. dah la tdo sorang2.. sob sob :(( bila tgh2 tdo tu, kejang kaki, sendiri laa yg urut and tanggung sakit tu.. :( sakit pinggang tu mmg xpayah nk ckp la kan.. Allah je yg tau sakit nye mcmana..

Anyhoo, doakan semuanye selamat yeee~ Serious cuakkssss :S

Pregnancy updates (part V)

Hello everyone!

Harini nk update lg pasal pregnancy.. Sbb tadi baru lepas buat routine check up kt klinik bidan sebelah umah ni ha.. Bosan? xpe, nx time aku update pasal benda lain plak eh. Hehe. *eh, aku punye pasal laaa.. ni blog aku :P* Hoho >.<

Anyway, result pasal check up td:
Pregnancy: 36 weeks 3 days
Baby position: Breech
Blood pressure: OK
Urine: OK
Blood platlet (hemoglobin?): OK
Weight: Gain 1.7kg in 2 weeks (which is NOT ok..)
Baby's heart beat: OK

So.. here we go. tsk tsk. Ada 2 benda yg xberapa nk ok hrni nye check up - baby's still breech and I gain more weight than it should be.. 

So ada 2 benda yg aku kena buat - based on the problem yg aku ada:

1. Breech
Aku kena jumpe pakar O&G next week kt Hosp Pilah. So doc tu akan check la.. I hv no idea ape yg doc tu akan check but I guess dia akan bg advise lah what to do next. Oh well, please.. aku xnk masuk wad. bukan ape, bosaaaaannn gile kottt? Lain laa kalau hubby ade utk teman kan kt wad.. sob sob :((

2. Gaining 1.7kg in 2 weeks time
Sepatutnya, aku dibenarkan gain 1kg je dlm masa 2 weeks. Tapi berat aku ni beriya2 plak naik sampai 1.7kg. kiranya aku dah terlebih 700g.. Aku pun pelik, apsal berat aku boleh naik dgn jayanya? sbb nk kata aku makan byk, xde la pun.. makan nasi 2x sehari je, itupun sikit.. xde makan beriya. Haih.

Sebabkan berat aku dah mencanak2 naik, so jumaat ni aku kena minum air gula. eeeeeeeeee.. menci tawww! ahaha. Kepada yg xtau ape itu air gula, boleh rujuk pakar O&G anda. Hoho. Air gula tu air glucose la.. aku request kt bidan tu, aku nk glucose yg perisa anggur yg jual kt kedai2 tu. ahaha. mmg bertuah la kan kalau bidan tu bagi. tp same je kottt?? tah la. aku bukan doktorrr mahupun bidan.

What I have to do is, aku kena puasa mlm khamis tu, start kol 10mlm xleh makan/minum pape.. saaaaampai pagi aku g klinik tu balik. Let say aku g kol 8pg jumaat tu, then sampai2 je, aku kena ambik darah dulu (asyik ambik darah aku je kejenye, lame2 kering jgk darah aku ni), then aku akan disuruh minum air gula tu 1 mug (I know, xsedap - ade org muntah ok minum air tu). After 2 hours, sample darah aku akan diambik lagi.. Then, baru aku dibenarkan bukak pose. adoi, mcm2 betul.

So, pesan aku, jgn laa kurang ajor kt parents ye kawan2, esp kat mak anda.. hehe.. mmg byk dugaan mengandung ni sbnrnya..And aku sendiri selalu kejang time malam2. sakit woo.. dah la tdo sorang2.. sob sob :(( bila tgh2 tdo tu, kejang kaki, sendiri laa yg urut and tanggung sakit tu.. :( sakit pinggang tu mmg xpayah nk ckp la kan.. Allah je yg tau sakit nye mcmana..

Anyhoo, doakan semuanye selamat yeee~ Serious cuakkssss :S

January 15, 2012

Pregnancy updates (part IV)

Hello people!

As I mentioned in my previous entry, this week on Thursday I'm gonna meet the doc.. Coz this week gonna be my 35th week of pregnancy.. The doc will make full evaluation on how well my pregnancy goes..

So here the result:
35 weeks.
The baby is still breech. Other than that, everything looks fine.
Blood pressure - OK.
Amniotic fluid level - OK.
Baby's heart beat - OK.
Baby growth - OK

So, the doc referred me to the hospital (KPGH - Kuala Pilah Government Hospital). I need to meet the doc on 26th january.. then they will decide what to do next. Either I will be hospitalized, or they just need to monitor my pregnancy. Or they may consider to do the caesarian. or.. I dont know..

My tummy getting 'comel'er and 'comel'er from day to day. Haha. And it's really a great experience tho.. Having 'someone' inside your body.. from your own genetic.. awesome :)

Thanks to Him for this experience. Tho sometimes I feel miserable (imbalance hormon - just excuse, LOL), but I really like it! Right now, I feel nervous on how I will deliver the baby..

"And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten."
-Maryam: 23

Can I stand the pain?

"But he called her from below her, "Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream.And shake toward you the trunk of the palm tree; it will drop upon you ripe, fresh dates."
-Maryam: 24-25

May He eases everything for me, inshaAllah :)

January 10, 2012

Think BIG. Dream BIG.

Hello people,

I think most of you (who follows my blog from start) know that I'm currently running my online business. Got to say, it looks simple doing online business - just sit in front of your lappy/desktop, create a blog/website/facebook, then promote your product(s). But it's MORE than that.

After few months I'm in this industry (field?), I have been through so many unexpected things that I never think of before. Challenges not only come from customers, but also competitors, haters, customs (?), and so on. Several times I lost and give up, I feel I want to quit. But then, when I remember my real intention in business, I re-motivated myself and I continue.

I admit, the profit that I got quite a number. But is it worth it when your friends become your foes, when your peers become your enemies? 


Many things are lingering in my mind right now. Until when I want to do this business?

I want to have my own company. I want to have my own workers. I don't want just doing small-scale business forever. For the start, maybe yes, but not forever.

I don't want to stop dreaming. Instead, I want to think BIG and dream BIG.

January 07, 2012

Pregnancy updates (part III)

Hello peeps!

Atas request Cik Badriah Burhan kt fb, then I will update about my pregnancy.. hehe. Actually mmg dah lama nk update pasal pregnancy, cuma kadang2 xde mood, or myb agak bz :/

Anyway, let's go straight to the point. This week the lil bubs dah berumur 34 weeks :) Alhamdulillah.. Everything is on track. Her/his growing, movements, etc sume ok.. Cuma last few weeks aku kekurangan darah. So I have to take iron tablet (4 tablets per day). But then after 2 weeks, my blood dah ok dah sume.. hehe

But what makes me worry is the fact that the baby is still breech (sonsang) :(. Skg ni dah 34 weeks, tp xde tanda2 baby nk pusing pun.. mmg la org ckp still ada masa kan, but the possibility tu mcm rendah je.. plus I have family history yg mmg susah nk bersalin normal ni.. from my mom, till to both of my sisters, semua ceaser..

So the bidan (midwife?) referred me to the doc (which I have to meet nx Thursday). I need to scan the baby. Kalau baby tu still breech jgk (nx week - 35 weeks), means I will be admitted to hospital.. which.. I don't want to. Obviously.

And if nx week the baby still breech, the possibility kena ceaser tu mmg tinggi lah. If I consider the worst case (engineer always do this :P), then I will deliver the baby 2 weeks earlier than expected date. That means, by 38 weeks, I will deliver the baby..

But mcmana pun, aku selalu doa yang terbaik buat aku, baby and semua.. Mmg la kalau ikutkan nk bersalin normal, but then if Dia dah tetapkan aku perlu ceaser, then aku redha.. who knows that's the best option for me kan? He knows better.

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, sesungguhnya Allah amat mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."
- Surah al-Baqarah: 216


30 weeks xsilap time nih..

30 weeks..

January 05, 2012

2011 Events (as far as I can remember ;p)

Aduhhh.. lame betul xupdate blog kan? Dah berhabuk agaknye blog aku nih. Haha.. Bukan apa, kadang2 tu malas nk menaip.. Bila ada benda nk ditulis, xde mood pulak. mmm..

Anyway, sedar xsedar harini dah 29 Disember. kejap je kan? dah nk masuk tahun 2012. And maksudnya dah setahun jgk la aku menanam anggur dgn jayanya lepas grad dulu. Hahaha. mesti gemok2 anggur aku nih. Well, Biasalah, bila dah hujung2 tahun ni, teringin nk imbas balik event2/benda2 yg penting jadi kt aku/org2 yg terdekat dgn aku sepanjang 2011 ni :)

6 Januari 2011 - Birthday si dia. ehem2. Aku bagi hadiah jersey Chelsea (original tau!hehe) + magic mug + kek ice cream

26 Februari 2011 - Aku selamat menjadi isteri yang sah kpd suami tercinta :)

After akad :)

One of my favourite pics!

March 2011 - Prehoneymoon di Bukit Tinggi and Honeymoon di Korea

Bukit Tinggi

Nami Island, Korea

March 2011 - Bermula kehidupan seorang isteri di Jepun :)
Udon - I'm soooo loving it!
First hanami with hubby - under the sakura trees :)

Mei 2011 - Memulakan bisnes Naturactor Collections secara kecil-kecilan

Mei 2011 - Aku disahkan mengandung! Alhamdulillah :")
16 weeks progress :)

Ogos 2011 - First time puasa sebagai isteri di Jepun
Menu buka puasa - Gulai udang, sup sayur, bubur kacang, tembikai :)

September 2011 - First time raya sebagai isteri di Jepun. Celebrate raya di Kedutaan Malaysia, Tokyo.
Raya kt Malaysian Embassy Tokyo with hubby and 2 of his students (Japanese) yg blaja BM ngn hubby - Ayako and Masae

29 September 2011 - My birthday. Simple and sweet celebration by him. He gave me a gold necklace for present :)

Oktober 2011 - I have to go back to Malaysia for good. Terpaksa berjauhan dgn suami :((((

November 2011 - Sister's getting engaged!
During her E-day :)

Disember 2011 - Going somewhere (rahsiaaaa - outside Malaysia) utk bercuti. hehe

Well.. tu antara events yg aku igt la.. myb ada yg lain, tp xteringat plak kan.. Anyhoo, i know it's already late to wish everyone Happy New Year!! ;)